I failed completely and, if I’m honest, I continued to overhear every word because I wanted the gossip far too much. Heheheheheh...
There were three management consultants discussing the launch of a new chain of patisseries. And judging by the seriousness on their faces, you would think they were negotiating the national budget rather than deciding where Mumbai should buy its next croissant!
Saarvi, was one of them ..
Mumbai born and bred, dressed entirely in black, with light eyes outlined in dark kohl, she had the sort of piercing look
She leaned forward.
Saarvi: “Right. Let’s align on the launch strategy. Mumbai has to be our flagship market. Location, product mix and customer experience have to work together.”
There it was.
Align. Strategy. Flagship. Customer experience.
Four management-consultant words before the first sip of matcha.
Across from her sat Bikram from Delhi.
Bikram did not look aligned.
In fact, Bikram looked distinctly un-aligned.
He frowned at the presentation.
Bikram: “I understand what you’re saying, Saarvi, but in South Delhi we wouldn’t position it like this.”
Saarvi’s eyebrow moved approximately two millimetres.
Saarvi: “Yes, Bikram. But this isn’t just South Delhi we are talking about ."
Silence.
At this point Jonathan, the third consultant, stepped in.
Jonathan was South African, but had lived in London long enough to acquire that very British ability to disagree with everybody without ever sounding disagreeable.
Jonathan: “I think both points are valid. Perhaps we should look at the data before we lock ourselves into a position.”
Nobody had won.
Nobody had lost.
But there was no firm decision either!
Infact now there was going to be more data.
Bikram tried again.
Bikram: “My concern is scalability. Back in South Delhi, premium customers expect space. You can’t squeeze six tables into a tiny shop and call it luxury.”
Saarvi: “In Mumbai, if you find six tables’ worth of space, Bikram, you open two branches.”
I nearly choked on my drink.
My drink, incidentally, deserved its own management presentation.
It was kesar milk with toffee-nut syrup.
Essentially caramel had met ras malai, removed the rasgullas, hired a consultant and rebranded itself as a beverage.
East meets west fusion drink but very delish nevertheless!
Meanwhile, the meeting continued.
Jonathan: “So what’s our key differentiator?”
Saarvi: “Indian flavours, European patisserie techniques, premium positioning.”
Bikram: “But we need consistency across markets.”
Saarvi: “Of course.”
Bikram: “And proper benchmarking.”
Jonathan: “Agreed.”
Saarvi: “We’ll benchmark.”
Another sacred management word had entered the room.
Then came market segmentation, unit economics, brand architecture, consumer behaviour, operational feasibility, ROI, footfall, deliverables, next steps and, inevitably...
Bikram: “We need to circle back on the pricing.”
Circle back.
Nobody in management ever simply returns to something.
They circle back.
Possibly several times.
Sometimes for years.
By now Saarvi was on her second matcha.
Jonathan was calmly dismantling a coffee cupcake.
Bikram was still defending South Delhi.
Bikram: “See, in South Delhi...”
Saarvi looked at him.
He stopped.
Jonathan quietly took another bite of his cupcake.
Eventually, three matchas had disappeared.
Three coffee cupcakes had been sacrificed to corporate strategy.
My kesar-toffee-nut-ras-malai-without-the-rasgulla drink was finished.
Saarvi closed her laptop.
Saarvi: “Fine. I’ll revise the proposal. Bikram, send me your numbers. Jonathan, can you look at the operating model?”
Jonathan: “Absolutely.”
Bikram: “Fine by me.”
A pause.
Then Jonathan delivered the sentence that has probably ended ten million management meetings around the world:
Jonathan: “Great. Let’s catch up on a Teams call.”
And that was it.
Two hours of strategy.
Three cities.
Three matchas.
Three cupcakes.
One unresolved pricing model.
And another meeting to discuss the meeting.
I smiled into the last little pool of saffron-caramel milk at the bottom of my glass.
We travel across cities, carry our experiences with us, defend the places that shaped us, disagree over numbers, invent impressive words for fairly ordinary problems, and convince ourselves that somewhere inside a PowerPoint slide there must be an answer.
Mumbai will remain Mumbai.
Delhi will remain Delhi.
Jonathan will continue to be diplomatic..
The patisserie may become a hundred-store empire, or quietly disappear in a few years.
But there will always be another spreadsheet.
Another coffee.
Another opinion.
And, somewhere on everyone’s calendar...
another Teams call...Isn’t it?
MKP
18.8.2026
BKC
Comments