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Alone but not alone


 Loneliness and solitude: the twin siblings of alone time, like two flavours of an ice cream—one delightful, the other a bit sour. Living with them is like hosting a neverending sleepover with your weirdest relatives. 


It all began when I decided to move to a different country. Boom, just like that, I found myself alone in a foreign apartment, surrounded by the kind of silence that could make a pin drop sound like a drum roll!. Pascal once said, “The eternal silence of these infinite spaces fills me with dread,” and buddy, he was definitely on to something.


First to arrive at the pity party was Loneliness. Imagine this: me, sprawled on my couch like a deflated balloon, munching away those ready salted crisps, wondering why Netflix doesn’t have a “talk to me” feature. Loneliness is that awkward guest who overstays their welcome, whispering sweet nothings like, “No one loves you,” while you reread a “haha” text from your friend, trying to decode if they really laughed or just pitied you.


Enter Solitude......

 Solitude is the cool, wise old friend who shows up on a lazy Sunday morning with a calm attitude and a yoga mat. I remember sitting by my window, sipping coffee, and watching the sunrise. That’s when Solitude put an arm around me and said, “Chill...let’s embrace this.” Thoreau’s voice echoed in my head: “I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” And suddenly, I wasn’t just alone; I was *independent*. I started reading books that weren’t self-help guides, painted something other than my nails, and even attempted yoga, which ended in me toppling over like a confused giraffe.


Here’s a prime example of their stark differences. One evening, I decided to take a walk in the park. Loneliness tagged along like a sulking teenager, making me acutely aware of every group of friends laughing together, every group enjoying their day to the fullest!!. Suddenly I felt like an extra in a movie where the plot forgot to include me. Loneliness muttered, “They’re all having fun without you,” and I bolted back home, feeling like I was missing out on the party of life.


The next morning, Solitude nudged me to try the park again. This time, it was like a completely different universe. I noticed the sunlight shining through the leaves, the birds chirping, and the breeze giving me a gentle high-five. Solitude whispered, “Check this out—it’s beautiful.” I actually smiled, feeling more like the main character in my own  film. Mary Oliver’s words floated to mind: “Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination.” And I thought, “Thanks, Mary. You get me.”


Loneliness and solitude are like two sides of the same coin, but while Loneliness is a penny you want to throw in a wishing well, Solitude is a rare copper you stash in your favourite piggy bank. Loneliness sucks the life out of you; solitude gives you life lessons. The same silence that can feel like you’re drowning can also make you feel like you’re floating on a raft with a cocktail in hand.


One night, staring at my ceiling like it was a canvas of existential dread, I realized something profound. Loneliness is like the dark before the dawn—cold, eerie, and full of “why me?” moments. Solitude, on the other hand, is the dawn itself—warm, hopeful, and full of “aha!” moments. Solitude invites you to a deep, meaningful chat with yourself where you can ponder life’s mysteries and maybe even figure out how  not to burn toast.


In the end, I’ve learned to live with both of these strange  companions. Loneliness still drops by unannounced, raiding my fridge and leaving crumbs everywhere. But Solitude, sweet Solitude, visits with a warm hug and a pack of delicious cookies, reminding me that being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. As Emily Dickinson wisely put it, “The soul selects her own society.” And sometimes, the best company is me, myself, and a cup of hot chocolate!


#EmilyDickinson her poem about hope is still one of my favourites.

#MaryOliver ..her famous poem the ' Wild Geese' ...so poignant!! 

#Pascal...a very inspiring personality.Didn't understand much of his work in physics but his philosophical observations and quotes are so true!!

#Thoreau...love his quote about solitude..

Know nothing more about him!


I am glad these were all part of our school curriculum..or else I would have never read their work!!

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